Back to square one. Back to zero.

I'm not surprised, I just find the silence hard to deal with. Especially when it's broken and then resumed like nothing had happened.

It's my birthday party tomorrow.

There'll be a few people there, people I know and love and I am looking forward to it, but I can't help but feel something is missing.

I feel like that a bit lately, though.

When I passed out the other day, three times in five minutes, I didn't want to be there on my own.
I wanted to have someone to call. I almost had to, luckily I made it to the top of the steps before I hit the deck.

Mostly I wanted to not have some weird aversion to heat though, that'd probably be a step up.

Listening to a lot of music.

Feeling very reflective.

Feeling a little anxious about various things.

Scouts.

I just committed myself to another term and I can't help but feel now that I have, that it was a mistake to do so.

I might look at transferring to another group.