What did I do?

What do I do?

I don't want to lose this friendship.

I'm so disappointed about the concert, but there's nothing to be done.

I was looking forward to catching up in a setting removed from everything else that's happened, and having some fun.

Another time, I guess.

When I saw those first few messages I felt like I was going to be sick.
I knew that this was going to be the case. Silence is never a good sign, with him.

Nothing I can do, I guess. Sit and wait and see.
I miss hanging out and chatting about stuff.

I just want everything to go back to normal. This idea that I have to deliberately keep my distance is so alien to that concept that I have to keep forcing myself to respect it.
But I have done so, and I will continue to do so.

It's unfortunate that my response to this sort of stress is to try and talk to the person involved about it, while his response is to keep his distance. They're both equally valid, just unfortunately mutually incompatible.

All I can do is be here for when he decides to talk to me. It hurts to stay away, but I'll respect what I've been told because that's what one does.

All I want is my friend back.

All I want is for everything to go back to the way it was.
As soon as possible.

I expect there to be teething problems, it's an adjustment like any other. But adjustments don't make themselves. For me I just want to jump back into it and get back into the groove of the friendship prior to the events of this year. Not to forget them or ignore them, but to accept that they aren't in our present or the future.

I'll wait, no matter how it makes me feel.

He knows where I am, and that I will always be here. I don't have to talk.

Just to catch up and do whatever.

I just want it to go back to normal.