I'm bleeding but I shouldn't be.
Explains the mood swings I've been having over the last couple of days. Explains why I've been so defensive about spending time with the cavalry. Explains why I've been so weirdly melancholy after feeling so much better after seeing my ex.
Explains everything. Now that I know I can understand why.
I feel okay, just sad. I'm worried but I know there's nothing I can do til I'm allowed to do it.
Gotta hold on to that reality no matter how weird and panicked I feel, now that I know where the emotional drive comes from.
Weird that it makes me think about sex. It's like there's no escape from it. I feel great I miss him, I think about sex with him. I bleed and I miss him and I think about sex with him. That's so not fair.
My insides feel like they've just been kicked by a horse and it kind of makes sense why I've spent the last couple of days feeling weirdly tetchy and like I've been kicked in the heart by a horse and that STILL makes me think about someone else.
Not cool, body. Not cool.
But now I know which means I can put it all in perspective.
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